This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.

He's a Frog, Stupid! — A Very Helpful dating primer for the ladies, because women (not straight women, but just "women") SAY they want to date nice guys, but then the stupid bitchez "choose guys who are six payments behind on their Harleys and spend the greater part of their days trying to find space for their next tattoo or explore extraneous body parts to pierce."

Ho ho! John R. "Jack" Schafer, Ph.D. really has us pegged AMIRITE, LADIES?!

I'm not sure whether my favorite passage is:

In the story of the frog and the prince, a princess kissed a frog and the frog magically turned into a prince. Ladies, this is only a fairy tale.

or:

Women often remark that nice guys are boring. Ladies, if you want excitement, go skydiving.

Let's call it a tie.

This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.

[Trigger warning for stalking.]

Do You Have a Jealousy Problem?, which Shaker lizardbreath, who gets the hat tip, aptly summarizes as: "I'm so glad big burly science brains [studied] why crappy things people do make people feel crappy, the results of which are characterized as OMG LADiEEEZ AMIRITE?!"

I'll just add that the author of the piece is Maura Kelly, last seen writing a loathsome fat-hating piece for the same garbage publication. Color me unsurprised that Kelly's thinking on the issue of jealousy is equally failful: There is not, in fact, a direct line from jealousy (even real jealousy, and not the "being shocked at being treated like shit" that's masquerading as jealousy here) to "turn[ing] into a Lisa Nowak—the NASA astronaut who drove 900 miles from Texas to Florida, in a disguise consisting of a wig and trench coat, while wearing an adult diaper (so she wouldn't have to make a rest stop) with a small arsenal of weapons (including a four-inch buck knife) so that she could corner her ex-boyfriend's new girl in a parking garage and threaten her."