This is so the worst thing you're going to read all day.

He's a Frog, Stupid! — A Very Helpful dating primer for the ladies, because women (not straight women, but just "women") SAY they want to date nice guys, but then the stupid bitchez "choose guys who are six payments behind on their Harleys and spend the greater part of their days trying to find space for their next tattoo or explore extraneous body parts to pierce."

Ho ho! John R. "Jack" Schafer, Ph.D. really has us pegged AMIRITE, LADIES?!

I'm not sure whether my favorite passage is:

In the story of the frog and the prince, a princess kissed a frog and the frog magically turned into a prince. Ladies, this is only a fairy tale.

or:

Women often remark that nice guys are boring. Ladies, if you want excitement, go skydiving.

Let's call it a tie.